Diamonds in the Rough

Deep Calls
Monday, May 19, 2008


Mark 16:17-18
“And these signs will accompany those who believe: In my name they will drive out demons; they will speak in new tongues; they will pick up snakes with their hands; and when they drink deadly poison, it will not hurt them at all; they will place their hands on sick people, and they will get well.”

I heard it before I saw it. Which is probably a good thing…a really good thing.
But let me go back to the beginning. I woke up early and picked up my Bible and started to page through the gospels. I landed at the end of Mark and decided to sit with it for a while.
Scripture has a way of taking on new meaning at different times in your journey. Carol’s words to me the day before, as I was heading down to the creek below her cabin, came to mind, “Now just remember, this is rattlesnake territory. So always be aware of your surroundings.” I took her heeding seriously. I walked down Hemlock lane towards the sound of the rushing water and carefully chose my steps through the wetlands and around the rocks down to the creek bed. I became caught up in my prayers, stopping to take pictures now and then, and wasn’t overly concerned. The Lord even gave me a song. My first ever.
As I read Mark, I began to think through how Jesus meant his words to be taken literally. Perhaps there is also a metaphorical significance, but He did mean that His disciples would have power over demons, speak in tongues, be protected from danger and evil, and they would have power to heal. But what do I do with this passage today? Take it literally? Understand it metaphorically? What are you saying God? Could you be a bit more clear?
An hour later, I set out with my camera to take advantage of the sun’s rays peeking through the trees. I had no idea where to go. Carol’s cabin sets right on the side of a mountainside that juts straight up from her back yard. I had already taken pictures down by the creek the day before so I looked up to the hills. As I pondered my options, I felt like the Lord was saying to me, “Let me lead you.” Well, I’m always up to a God adventure, and I thought maybe He would give me some good pictures, so I began to make my way up the hill. I was doing fine taking pictures along the way up what I was now calling a mountain, and the terrain was getting much steeper and much rockier. The ground was covered in dead leaves, so it was hard to know what you were going to step on much of the time. When I reached the first clearing, there was a friendly stream bubbling along, and the sun was peeking through the trees. It was so pretty, I thought I might keep going. There were no paths, but I wasn’t worried about getting lost, because I knew I just needed to head down hill and towards the creek, and that Carol’s cabin was between Hemlock and Oklahoma. The terrain was getting even steeper and rockier, and as I picked my footing I began to become more and more afraid of encountering a snake. My fear became overpowering. I began to be afraid of every crevice. It was so steep I was actually pulling myself up the hill by the trees. The louder my fears got in my head, the more God kept saying to me, “I told you I will protect you from snakes, I told you will protect you from snakes.”
You might wonder why I didn’t just turn around and go back. It’s complicated. Sometimes when pain is so strong in your being, it moves you to conquer all sorts of enemies you may not have had the guts to face before. And I know that part of this journey was about making good use of the pain. But it was also about conquering my fears. I was going to believe God no matter how afraid I was. I kept saying to myself over and again, “I believe God, I believe God.”
So I’m almost up to the next clearing, and I’m going to have to go through some really scary looking tree roots and rocks to get there, and it takes every last bit of courage I have, but I do it, and I pull myself up to the clearing, and onto a road. A ROAD! And I’m so surprised to see it (and I’m thinking, I could have DRIVEN up here). I yell, “It’s a road!”
Now, in about 1.2 seconds all of the following happened. I heard something, and my mind kind of filed through possibilities…wind through the trees? No. The creek? No. Rattlesnake? Yes. I turned and looked toward the sound. Directly across the road from me, about 8 feet away, I saw it begin to slither back into its nest. I tiptoed quickly down the road, turned my camera on, pointed and shot. My hands were shaking, and I only got two pictures before the snake hid itself. I waited until the rattling stopped, and then my inner world began to unravel.
“You told me you would keep me safe from snakes. You told me you would keep me safe from snakes. But you didn’t say that I wouldn’t ever meet up with them. You kept me safe. You kept me safe. Thank you, God. Thank you, God. Thank you, God.”
I was feeling very traumatized and at the same time, strangely grateful for the experience. Then I had to decide what was next. I had now been gone for a good hour, and I hadn’t told anyone where I was going—other than out to take pictures. But I felt like the Lord was saying, “You could turn back now, but you’ll miss the blessing I have for you.” So I turned in the direction He was leading me and hoped it was toward the top of the mountain. I stayed on the road, but I felt a little bit like you feel the first time you drive after an accident—like highly oversensitive to everything. I walked up the road for about another half hour, and it winded it way up into a grassy clearing. I finally had what I was looking for, a clear shot of the ridge. I thought maybe I should turn back, but I knew I was close, and by this time, there was nothing that was going to keep me from the top of the mountain. I made my way up the grassy slope and felt the presence of God so near me. I arrived at the top and the falcons began to circle overhead, they were so beautiful. I took some pictures, and since I was pretty sure I had the mountain all to myself, I sang a few lines of “Climb Every Mountain” at the top of my lungs.
Then it was time to return. I ran down the first third of the mountain, because I knew the girls would be worried. Of course, I had to return to Rattlesnake Cove, since that was my marker to the way back. Strangely enough, I was more scared going back down the mountain than I was up. It was all I could do to force my feet down through the rocks. The fear was so great. And I kept wrestling in my spirit. “God, You told me You were going to protect me from snakes. You showed me even that you did. Why, is it even harder to believe you now?”
I know that the answer to that question lies in the fact that it is so easy to doubt God, sometimes even more so after great battles. Maybe the danger is just more tangible. But shouldn't the knowledge of God's protection be more tangible as well? The question is always, “What if He doesn’t mean it this time?” And all I can say to you is that the Lord kept saying to me, “Listen to me, follow me down the mountain, and I will show you the way.” “Listen to me. Listen to me.” And so I did. It was really rough. Despite all my efforts I slid down most of the second tier, holding on to trees as I slipped down. There was no avoiding the craggy rocks. I had to face the possibility of danger. And you know what? I fell…a couple of times. Once I fell really hard, I even lost a lens in the fall. The only thing that kept me internally stable was listening to God, and He showed me where to go. The comforting thought I had was this, “If I’m following God down the mountain, and if I come face to face with danger, then I know He has led me to it. And He will accomplish His purposes through it. And I’m not afraid of that.”
I just hope I’m hearing right.
Three hours after I left the cabin, I returned, much to the relief of my friends. It was quite an adventure. I found a diamondback rattlesnake, a few pictures, the top of the mountain, and faith to face my fears.
I’m still learning to trust that God means what He says, especially in times where...

Danger seems more real than His protection,
Demons more real than angels,
Sickness more real than healing,
Poison more real than the antidote.

Give me faith to believe, God. Faith to believe.

“My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me, I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing…And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road, though I may know nothing about it. Therefore I will trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.”
Thomas Merton

Comments

Carol said...

I love the post! And it is all the more meaningful having been there to see you come back. What a story and what a blessing.
It was a wonderful weekend filled with many God moments!
Love you dear friend.
May 19, 2008 9:15 PM

jean said...

Zech 2:5 "says ADONAI "I will be for her a wall of fire surrounding her; and I will be the glory within her."
I read His words this morning and I pray that our Father continues to surround you with His unfailing love and that His glory shines in and through you as you walk in trust and obedience.
Love and respect,
Jean
May 20, 2008 8:08 AM