Ever been swarmed? I'm referring to the cloud of darkness that engulfs us, the lies that beat against our spirits. They surround us with fear, doubt, shame, guilt, and despair.
"You're not as gifted, educated, pretty, thin, creative, eloquent as..." (You're not valuable.)
"You're not focused enough, pure enough, mature enough, spiritual enough..." (God won't use you.)
"Your pain will never heal, your longings will never be fulfilled, your desires will never be met..." (You will always be disappointed.)
"If you were really Godly you wouldn't even be struggling with this." (Just to cap it off.)
Sometimes the cloud is so thick it's almost impossible to discern what is coming at us and where it's from. Its like a poison that seeps through your pores to the depths of your being. You just feel spiritually ill.
Why do the bats always seem to attack right after you've fallen to the bottom of an abandoned well?
Exodus 14:10-31
The Israelites have set out for the promised land and they find themselves up against the Red Sea with Pharaoh closing in behind them. The bats begin to swarm.
"You thought you were following God to the promise land and look...you'll never get there!" (There is no hope.)
"Weren't there enough places to bury us in Egypt? Why did you have to bring us to the desert to die?" In other words, "Why did you let us get our hopes up? Its better to be numb than crushed." (God is cruel.)
"We were better off serving the Egyptians. Maybe we were slaves, but at least we were alive." (Freedom isn't possible.)
We finally step out in faith to follow God, begin to breathe in all the possibilities the future holds, and then...we see all of creation standing between us and His promises...and our enemies are closing in.. In that dark place our enemy, the Deceiver, swarms.
Until Daddy comes and lifts us out. Until God parts the sea.
You know, I've been on the journey long enough that I get that God lets us fall into the well, or get stuck between an army and an ocean. Maybe because He wants us to know that He'll come get us, that He'll part the sea and crush the army. Or maybe even because He's ready for us to move on to eternity with Him. I don't always like it, but I get it.
But WHY doesn't He keep the bats away?
Moses says, "Do not be afraid, stand firm, and see the deliverance that the Lord will accomplish for you today; for the Egyptians you see today you shall never see again. The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to keep still."
God knew those Egyptians wouldn't return...but the Deceiver would. God was interested in delivering them from a greater enemy. So when it seems impossible that His promises are still true...He lets the Deceiver come. He wants us to understand where the battle really lies...and it's not against flesh and blood. He wants us to know how to win the war that is always going on over our spirits. He wants us to put away fear. To stand firm and believe when our knees want to give out from under us. To wait in confidence until He shows up--and let Him decide when and what that looks like.
What are the impossibles God has asked you to believe?
What bats are attacking you?
I waited patiently for the Lord;
he turned to me and heard my cry.
He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
Out of the mud and mire;
He set my feet on a rock
and gave me a firm place to stand.
He put a new song in my mouth,
a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear
and put their trust in the Lord.
Psalm 40:1-3
