Me, Matt, and Helen

Me, Matt, and Helen

Photo by bgrace

For Matt, going to Mount St. Helens is like something on par with my kids getting to go to Disney World, or my Dad getting to meet Mike Schmidt, or me getting to preach on a Sunday morning in church. And since it was only an hour and a half drive from Ted and Nancy’s, we headed out yesterday after an early lunch. One of the guides said it was perfect for viewing--a clear blue without a cloud in the sky kind of day. Matt and I followed a trail alongside a mountain so he could look at the “geology.” He was the only person with his back to the volcano looking at the ground. I was having fun taking pictures--250 of them. The one above is my favorite. The trail was pretty deserted except for us, so I sat and just took in Helen for a bit. If you’ve never been there, it’s hard to describe its enormous presence. The thought that came to my mind was this…even great mountains fall apart. Or in this case blow apart. There are many passages in scripture that liken God to a rock or a mountain. Often in the last few years God has seemed more like an erupting volcano than a solid rock in my life. The truth is that each of those metaphors fall short of God. God is greater than all mountains: He created them, He sustains them, and He blows them to pieces at will. My soul feels a lot like Helen right now: a big cavern where my ins and outsides have been blown apart and lots of ash is spread over the ground. Matt came and sat by me with his collection of rocks, and we looked at Helen together. A couple weeks ago I wrote a song. So I asked him if he wanted to hear it. He nodded. Into the great valley of ash I sang these words:

He is my shelter

He is my peace

He surrounds me

The mountains shall turn back

The hills disappear

Yet He shall remain here

Matt kissed my cheek and said, “I love you.” Even with the lava simmering in the caverns of my heart,
Even with the big hole in my soul, Even with all the ash on the ground, I knew it was true. I love you too Matt.
“For though the mountains should depart and the hills be shaken or removed, yet My love and kindness shall not depart from you, nor shall My covenant of peace and completeness be removed, says the Lord, Who has compassion on you.” Isaiah 54:10