Friday, May 14, 2010

Butterflies in the Sand

Photo by Bgrace

The second time I remember seeing butterflies in a way that seemed significant was almost 5 years ago. It is a vague memory, one I wish I had written about more clearly, but I will try to recall the details as best I can.  I was in OC, NJ with the girls, Jean, and my Mom.  I was walking to the beach--I think with both Grace and Em.  An older couple was standing near the entrance to the path to the beach.  The woman had a large pail of shells which one of my girls decided looked very interesting, and so she started to talk to her about it.  She looked sadly at the shells and said, "They are all broken, all the shells I found were broken, but I still thought they were beautiful, so I kept them."  I didn't know why, but I felt like we had just been a part of a "Divine Encounter."
We made our way to the dirt path which led us to the beach.  I looked down at my feet and saw to my dismay what looked like a large bed of butterflies lying dead in the sand.  There were so many of them.  They were deep black and bright orange and when I saw them I felt very sad and then a strong sense of evil.  I shook it off angrily and did not allow myself to entertain any thoughts about it because I thought Satan was using it to speak an evil threat to me about Emily.  God had already told me she would be well, and I planned to believe Him. 
It was only years later, when I spent time in Atlantic City, and the Lord brought it back to my mind that I believed it was the Lord speaking something to me after all.  He had shown me those butterflies for a purpose, but because I was so confused at the time I didn't understand it and couldn't receive it.
In my conversations with the Lord, the butterflies are usually representative of women, younger women mostly, sometimes children.  Most often they are the victims of abuse, usually sexual abuse or even sex trafficking.  I did not know this at the time. (I'll tell you about how I made that connection in a later post. And let me clarify that I never saw Emily as a victim in any related sense.)
I didn't understand that God was showing me about evil, that I was seeing something evil that He wanted me to pay attention to.  When I look back, I realize those butterflies were probably victims of the sand storm that we had experienced the day before.  The storm was too much for them.  The black on their wings felt like it represented evil that weighed them down and took away their will to live.  So much darkness had come against them.  These butterflies were precious, delicate creatures that were dying.  They should have graced the world with such beauty and instead were lying dead in the sand.
It reminds me of Genesis 4:10
"Listen, your brother's blood is crying out to me from the ground!" (God speaking to Cain.)

What I am coming to believe more and more is that the world around us gives evidence of the truth for those who have ears to hear and eyes to see.  But is is only through the Spirit of God that we can understand what is being said, by whom, what it means, and what purpose He has in opening our understanding to it.  That understanding usually comes in pieces and over a length of time, though I believe there are some people who are especially gifted in interpretation.  (I truly wish I were one of them, but that is a gift I am still praying for.)  I'm not sure that we will ever see more than "in part," but that part which God finds important to reveal to us, should never be despised.

1 comment:

Rebecca Grace said...

Dad waved a white flag--he's a little busy. So I decided to continue with the story. Maybe the story will begin to answer some of the questions anyway.
B